woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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