LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
