Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
