I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
