sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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