yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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