we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
