I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
