I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
