We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
