i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
bring money and cleavage
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
