This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
