I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
