Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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