I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Let's paint friendship bongs
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My ass is underappreciated
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
