My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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