look no pants
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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