She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
