you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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