i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize