I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
