I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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