physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
