It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
