For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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