Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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