well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
