You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
