i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
