As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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