I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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