Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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