5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
