i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
