Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
