Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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