just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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