Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
