i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
