The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
