so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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