piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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