bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
