This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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