im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
