He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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