Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What did we do last night that was yellow?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
