they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
