You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize