I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
