I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize