Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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