i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
