There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
