Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
