She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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