I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
