Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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