She announced her abortion via fbk
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
