Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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